Why Men Hate Church — CBN.com Spiritual Life

Posted: September 6, 2011 in Jesus, Masculinity, Religion
Tags: , , ,


Why Men Hate Church

By David Murrow

CBN.com — Cliff is a man’s man. On the job he’s known as a go-getter and a very hard worker. He’s a good provider who loves his wife and kids. He’s well respected by his neighbors. Cliff drives a humongous four-wheel-drive pickup. He loves the outdoors and takes every opportunity for a little hunting and fishing. He enjoys a cold beer and a dirty joke. He does not go to church.

Ask him why he doesn’t go to church, and he’ll offer up words like boring, irrelevant, and hypocrite. But the real reason Cliff doesn’t go to church is that he’s already practicing another religion. That religion is masculinity.

The ideology of masculinity has replaced Christianity as the true religion of men. We live in a society with a female religion and a male religion: Christianity, of various sorts, for women and non-masculine men; and masculinity . . . for men.

Cliff practices his religion with a single-mindedness the Pharisees would envy. His work, his hobbies, his entertainment, his follies, his addictions, everything he does is designed to prove to the world he is a man. His religion also demands that he avoid anything that might call his manhood into question. This includes church, because Cliff believes deep in his heart that church is something for women and children, not men.

Cliff is not alone. Men have believed this for centuries. In the 1800s, Charles Spurgeon said, “There has got abroad a notion, somehow, that if you become a Christian you must sink your manliness and turn milksop.” Cliff sees Christianity as incongruous with his manhood. It’s a women’s thing.


We’re only in chapter 1, and I know I’m already in trouble with a lot of you. I can just imagine what you’re thinking: Church is not a women’s thing—it’s a men’s thing! It certainly looks that way, doesn’t it? After all, a man and His male disciples founded Christianity, most of its major saints and heroes were men, men penned all of the New Testament books, all of the popes were men, all of the Catholic priests are men, and 95 percent of the senior pastors in America are men. Feminists have been telling us for years that the church is male dominated and patriarchal. Are they right?

The answer is yes and no. The pastorate is a men’s club. But almost every other area of church life is dominated by women. Whenever large numbers of Christians gather, men are never in the majority. Not at revivals. Not at crusades. Not at conferences. Not at retreats. Not at concerts. With the exception of men’s events and pastoral conferences, can you think of any large gathering of Christians that attracts more men than women?

Visit the church during the week, and you’ll find most of the people working there are female. Drop in on a committee meeting, and you’ll find a majority of the volunteers are women—unless it’s that small bastion of male presence, the building committee. Look over the leadership roster: the pastor is likely to be a man, but at least two-thirds of the ministry leaders will be women. Examine the sign-up sheets for volunteer work, prayer, Sunday school, and nursery duty. You’ll be lucky to see more than a couple of men’s names on these lists. One pastor recently told me, “If it weren’t for the postman, every visitor to the church during the week would be a woman.”

read the full article below

via Why Men Hate Church — CBN.com Spiritual Life.

  1. #4 says:

    The articles premise is too broad (no pun intended) and encompassing. I know many men who not only go to church, but love church – me being one of them.
    sadly it appears that the whole reason for going to church is lost in the article. The reason for going to church is for love of our Savior and Lord, and to serve and fellowship. If a man isn’t going to church – saying that it’s because it is not manly is a poor excuse – it is because he doesn’t have a relationship with Christ. That is the real reason and problem.

  2. prophetshrek says:

    I believe the author David Murrow, even though he takes a broad stroke at men, is referring to men that aren’t saved and wont go through the church doors because of the obstacles he mentions. Part of my frustration as well brother. Admittedly even though I attend church, I don’t love it like I used too. Partially because I feel the church does not understand the road to manhood. It’s like telling a little boy it’s bad to fight. Same principle. But I’m trying to change that.

    Frankly I know several great christian couples that do the “home church” thing because of their convictions.

  3. Very insightful I never thought of masculinity as a religion. But I can understand the perspective. Maybe we need to find better methods to engage men and hear there concern. I think it also has to do with there being a lot of single parent homes and the shift in our society. Overall it is a good article and an issue we must deal with.

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