How do men and women express love?

Posted: September 19, 2011 in Femininity, Jesus, Masculinity, Relationships, Religion
Tags: , ,

Ok so I am still trying to figure out the difference between how a woman loves and how a man loves. Then I want to put this into perspective of how we love Jesus.

What does love Jesus mean? If the two genders express love differently, then we must accept this and not judge or attempt to fix the other gender. Then we must also consider. “I love you” – “I’m in love with you” –  “and “I’m loving you.”

As a man, when I say “I love you” to my wife, it means just that and nothing more. When my wife says it to me, there is this look of adoration towards me. Now when I say “I’m in love with you” to her, then my heart is becoming involved. Of course the “I’m loving you” is the act of making love towards each other, which includes all three of the statements above.

Lets take it a step further and get into the mind of the genders during the profession of love towards each other. When I say “I love you” I am expressing and declaring my care, provision and protection over my wife. When my wife says it to me, she is saying she adores me and her heart beats for me and she wants to give me all that she is. On the surface it sounds like I don’t know much about what love is. But nothing can be further from the truth. However, the world through the media has defined love from mainly a female perspective. No wonder so many guys are confused today. And so many women are eagerly waiting for the heart strings to be tugged.

Now of course both genders express love with the heart and with action, but I believe a man express’s love with action first and primarily and then emotion. Conversely a woman must express love with her heart primarily and then action. That is the main difference between the two genders.

We must acknowledge the fact that men express love differently. When Jesus asked Peter “do you love me” 3 times to the point of Peter’s frustration. Jesus finally answered and told Peter “feed my sheep.” This is an action that declares care, provision, and protection over the sheep. Jesus was saying to Peter if really love me then prove it with you actions. He didn’t say “put your heart into it mister!” At least at this point. I’m not saying that men shouldn’t involve their heart either.

I want to also point out that when Jesus chose the disciples, he told them to follow me. For me to follow someone it takes a great deal of faith, courage, and belief on my part. I also wonder why He called men instead of women. This was a time for work and a call to battle as well. This was not a time for adoration. I wonder if he chose only men because now was not the time for love but action and war. A war to save mankind. Just my thoughts…

Note – do a search on Google for “love” in the image section and you will find hearts, flowers, and kissing couples. But never, care, provision and protection.

Well part two is going to cover – 

  • What was church like during Christ’s time?
  • What was church like during the reformation?
  • What was it like 100 years ago?
  • What was it like 50 years ago?
  • And now?
feel free to comment, this topic is worthy of help and discussion
  1. wisejunction says:

    That is one of those problems that goes way back. Men and Women always wanting the other to do things like they do them, including the way they love. Yet God created us very differently for very different purposes. How dull it would be if we all loved the same way. We need to delight in the differences and be joyous that God in His all knowing creative abilities made us to be the way that was best.

  2. #4 says:

    I’m afraid to do the Google search for “love” – there are scary things out there. 😉

  3. “…do a search on “love” … and you will find hearts, flowers, and kissing couples. But never, care, provision and protection.”
    That’s true. And as a woman I want care, provision and protection from my man. The flowers can gladly be omitted (my abusive ex used to give them to me to con me into reconciliation). The kissing is optional too, though it’s nice when it happens! The heart: I know it’s there if the care, provision and protection are there. Care, provision and protection are the bedrock; the elegance, romance and warm fuzzies are pleasant byproducts but not the foundation. And I write this even tho my hubby is sometimes physically disabled and does not ‘provide’ with a hefty pay check because of the disability. He provides strength, spiritual resilience, spiritually-guided common sense, and vigilant care for my welfare in this dodgy and undependable world. And he’s as trustworthy as the law of gravity, when it comes to integrity.

  4. On Christ’s words to Peter “Do you love me?” it seems to me that Jesus asked that question three times for a few reasons. One is that Peter denied him three times and so he need to be thrice tested by Jesus’ question. Another is that Peter (like many men, especially many impetuous men?) was not all that good a listener, and so need to hear things three times for them to sink in. Another is that the repetition of the question allowed Jesus to emphatically re-emphasise his directive: Feed My Sheep!

    If Jesus repeated an instruction three times to a woman, that would have been rude. But to repeat an instruction three times to a man wasn’t rude, it was galvanising.

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