Letter to Abusive Husbands

Posted: June 23, 2012 in Abuse, Relationships, Religion
Tags: , , ,

Mr. Religious-Abuser ,

My name is Doug Burrell, co-founder of a ministry that helps women who are married to super religious, super anointed, scripture spouting, pharisaical vipers who are full of dead men’s bones!

If your reading this letter it most likely applies to you. Who in the hell do you think you are treating a precious gift from God the way you do?  I know how you play the game. How you are always faithful in church and how you put on a great smile with everyone you meet. How you are falsely charming to everyone BUT you wife! I know you have the pastor and many others fooled into thinking your the next best thing since sliced bread. Well guess what? I know it’s all a lie! That’s right! Your just a scared little man afraid that everyone will find out who you really are, that’s the reason for the show. Your entire life is an act and you know it! News Flash – The world doesn’t revolve around you, and NO your not special at all!

You tell your wife that she cant live without you, when it’s you who can’t bear the thought of rejection! I know that if and when you wife confronts you or catches you in the act of cowardice or betrayal you promise to never do it again. But it’s only temporary compliance to stave the Out-of-Control feeling that you are experiencing.

At some point if you haven’t already, your going to forbid (I’m laughing) your wife from even seeing her family or some of her friends because you think they are not a good influence (still laughing). You will bar your wife and kids from having any visits with these threatening people, because they are a threat to your plans of total dominance.Yep, just what Jesus had in mind! Shoot, I’m really blowing it!

Furthermore, I know that if your wife asks you to leave that you will become desperate and will call in the troops at church to rally to your side. You will paint the picture of a poor little misunderstood man whose wife is not being godly and forgiving. Or you will convince the troops that she is going through that time of life. This is where the scripture quoting is thrown all over the place! You will even have the audacity to say “I’m the leader of this house.”  What a farce! Some leader you are, abandoning your wife emotionally, physically and spiritually. Not being sacrificial as Jesus says to be. NO your not, you think you are but your not! The fact that your thinking about yourself proves it!

Over the years your wife has forgiven you countless times and yet when she is at her wits end, you and the troops tells her she has to be forgiving! What a slap in the face, are you kidding me? You should just go crawl under a rock and hide somewhere at this point, you big sissy! It is only a fool that returns to his own vomit, and you want her to forgive you? Oh but wait there’s more! I forgot the almighty 70 times 7 verse! Oh what was I thinking? I was thinking she should have left you a long time ago Loser!

I also know that your religion and faith are a farce, because as soon as she leaves you your going to start getting drunk, maybe even smoke pot. You know why? Because it didn’t work. Your religion was phony from the start. If it were real you would not have been treating your wife with such cruelty.

You want your marriage to work? Lead with love not iron. Learn what love really is, love her and cherish her, she deserves it after putting up with your sorry butt. Above all else stop making everything about you, this is what got you into this mess in the first place. Oh, and lastly give your life to Jesus seriously this time. Either do this or lose it all.

Doug Burrell

  1. Doug, well done. I posted a link to this post on my FB page for Not Under Bondage with the comment: “Doug Burrell, husband of Cindy Burrell, put pen to paper and told abusive husbands the truth in a tone they should understand. (After all, abusers understand strong words don’t they? That’s their bread and butter.)”
    You know, if a woman wrote like you wrote, she’d be castigated as a harridan. But a man can write like you’ve done, and it passes without question.
    Thanks for defending victims around the world.

    • prophetshrek says:

      Barb, thank you very much. You are right about a man writing the way I do. Believe it or not we even had a man get on the forum and admit that “it was him” I tried to counsel him but he ran away. Looking forward to your visit. Doug

      • “Believe it or not we even had a man get on the forum and admit that “it was him” I tried to counsel him but he ran away.”
        I have no problem believing that an abusive man got on your forum, Doug, but yeah, it’s unusual that he admitted to being an abuser. However, not surprising that he ran away when you tried to counsel him.

        I read recently, can’t remember where, a survivor saying that her ex-husband had told someone that his counselor *almost* had him believing the problem was HIM, but in the end he decided the counselor was wrong.

        When you are determined to live in a labyrinth of lies, you won’t see the truth.

      • prophetshrek says:

        I wish I could just shake some people!!!!

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