Archive for the ‘Femininity’ Category

Interesting read – Prophetshrek

Yesterday, I talked about a recent brouhaha over some comments by Douglas Wilson and Jared Wilson (no relation) over at The Gospel Coalition about gender and marriage. Jared quoted a book by Dougla…

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At my church like many other churches they have a Men’s Ministry group, although I feel the name should be changed to “Men that Minister.” Anyway, I am always baffled when I am around men and they comment about how they seem to have a hard time connecting with their wives. Or when they share their displeasure of their marriage to me. This happened a long time ago in case someone is lurking and being nosy.

Now, first of all I must let it be known that I certainly do not occupy the corner of the market on wisdom in marriage, nor am I an expert on anything but knowing one thing for sure and that is that Christ came for restoration, and that we should seek restoration in all relationships if possible. I say “if possible” because it takes two too tango. Free will is involved. But when two persons will is to be restored and they seek the great Restorer then all things are possible.

Speaking to men – You can’t tell me that you don’t know how to relate to your wife, or that you don’t have time for her or the kids because you are always working. Listen guys, I know that you had plenty of time for her when you pursued her before you were married. I know that on some nights you got maybe three hours of sleep before work the next morning, because you wanted to stay near her all night. Just to be close to her was your every desire. Nothing else mattered to you. Remember those days?

I know I do.

This is all she wants. This is what she deserves. She deserves to be seen. She wants to be seen. Why do you think so many girls that grow up in dysfunctional homes dress provocatively? They have a desire to be seen. They were never seen by their fathers as a princess and so their quest to be seen begins. Please don’t let this happen to your little girls, make sure they know their the princess in you life.

Make sure you wife knows she is the queen in your life! Listen here guys. Lets be frank. Every man wants a woman at his feet. But you have to have a commanding presence for her to want to sit at your feet. Commanding not demanding! A big difference! Also (here come the stones) I believe every woman wants to feel safe enough and loved enough to sit at her kings feet. But first you have to be a king, act like a king, and make sure she knows that she is not only seen by you but adored by you.

In short – If you die for her, she’ll live for you!

True Headship and Submission is an allusive mystery to many, but when you understand this principle it is the most beautiful thing in life.

Sound familiar? It should, because it is a biblical principal. Jesus Himself died for us, His bride that we might live for Him!

The Creators Clay

First I have to give credit for this to David Murrow from Church for Men. He is an advocate for authentic masculinity in the church. Thanks David.

We’re in the thick of the NFL playoff season. If you’re planning to watch a game or two this weekend, do me a favor: pay close attention to the commercials. You’ll learn a lot about men.

Advertisers have learned there are certain words and images that motivate guys to commit. Here’s an ad from Toyota, promoting the Tundra Pickup Truck:

Let’s break it down: A rough, gravel-voiced announcer. A dangerous situation. Huge metal beams swinging through space. Dirt. The sound of a motor roaring, tires squealing, metal grinding and cables snapping. Crowds of men cheering the truck’s narrow victory. A final angular logo that slams into place.

Now let’s look at a commercial you’ll never see on an NFL broadcast. It’s from the same advertiser, Toyota. See if you can figure out which gender this ad is targeting:

Flowers. Children. Butterflies. A female singer. A message of harmony. A logo that gently folds out onto the screen.

In case you haven’t figured it out, the Prius is targeted at wealthy urban women who think of themselves as eco-friendly. The Tundra Pickup is targeted at men who think of themselves as rugged and hard-working.

Here’s the point: men and women respond to different imagery. Sure, there are always exceptions, but the genders as a whole are quite predictable. Advertisers know this. So they customize their sales pitches. Toyota would never use flowers and dancing children to sell a pickup truck because men would hate it. It goes against everything men believe about themselves.

Which leads us to the church. Without realizing it, many churches have created a Prius-like culture. We focus heavily on relationships. Healing. Nurturing. Harmony. We decorate with flowers, quilts, ribbons and lace. Our ministries revolve around domestic tasks such as cooking, childcare, and education.

And we’ve softened our message. We’ve cleaned up the grit, grime and danger. The gospel is no longer a hazardous mission – it’s a personal relationship. It’s about family harmony. Getting along with others. Being nice.

No wonder we’re having trouble motivating men to commit.

Fortunately, there’s a book that can help any church recapture the adventure of following Jesus. It’s called THE BIBLE. It’s pages are stained with blood. It’s very message is danger.  As one of my favorite pastors often said, “The Gospel, properly followed, will kill you.”

So as you watch football commercials this weekend, ask yourself: is my church putting a Prius spin on the gospel? Are we unwittingly targeting women with our message and ministries? If so, how can we recapture the dangerous message Christ proclaimed?

Ok so I am still trying to figure out the difference between how a woman loves and how a man loves. Then I want to put this into perspective of how we love Jesus.

What does love Jesus mean? If the two genders express love differently, then we must accept this and not judge or attempt to fix the other gender. Then we must also consider. “I love you” – “I’m in love with you” –  “and “I’m loving you.”

As a man, when I say “I love you” to my wife, it means just that and nothing more. When my wife says it to me, there is this look of adoration towards me. Now when I say “I’m in love with you” to her, then my heart is becoming involved. Of course the “I’m loving you” is the act of making love towards each other, which includes all three of the statements above.

Lets take it a step further and get into the mind of the genders during the profession of love towards each other. When I say “I love you” I am expressing and declaring my care, provision and protection over my wife. When my wife says it to me, she is saying she adores me and her heart beats for me and she wants to give me all that she is. On the surface it sounds like I don’t know much about what love is. But nothing can be further from the truth. However, the world through the media has defined love from mainly a female perspective. No wonder so many guys are confused today. And so many women are eagerly waiting for the heart strings to be tugged.

Now of course both genders express love with the heart and with action, but I believe a man express’s love with action first and primarily and then emotion. Conversely a woman must express love with her heart primarily and then action. That is the main difference between the two genders.

We must acknowledge the fact that men express love differently. When Jesus asked Peter “do you love me” 3 times to the point of Peter’s frustration. Jesus finally answered and told Peter “feed my sheep.” This is an action that declares care, provision, and protection over the sheep. Jesus was saying to Peter if really love me then prove it with you actions. He didn’t say “put your heart into it mister!” At least at this point. I’m not saying that men shouldn’t involve their heart either.

I want to also point out that when Jesus chose the disciples, he told them to follow me. For me to follow someone it takes a great deal of faith, courage, and belief on my part. I also wonder why He called men instead of women. This was a time for work and a call to battle as well. This was not a time for adoration. I wonder if he chose only men because now was not the time for love but action and war. A war to save mankind. Just my thoughts…

Note – do a search on Google for “love” in the image section and you will find hearts, flowers, and kissing couples. But never, care, provision and protection.

Well part two is going to cover – 

  • What was church like during Christ’s time?
  • What was church like during the reformation?
  • What was it like 100 years ago?
  • What was it like 50 years ago?
  • And now?
feel free to comment, this topic is worthy of help and discussion

‘Guyliner’ And ‘Manscara’ No Longer Just For Rock Stars |

Seriously people? Guyliner and Manscara?

Another attempt at trying to blur the lines between the genders. Men and women should be more opposite than anything on the planet! The enemy is trying to neutralize the power of the male, and distort and change the qualities of femininity. Trying to make manly men a thing of the past, someone to look down on. Well guess what? This only makes me fight harder! Pray harder against this evil! And talk louder against it!

While I’m on this topic…guys stop worrying about how you look.  Instead worry or think about your character. And always, I mean always! Treat women like Queens and Princess’s, no matter how they treat you. Stand out from this idiotic crowd and make a mark for authentic masculinity. It’s time to turn the tables on this stupidity!

A serious ‘Man Card’ violation!


I knew that title would grab you….

Alas, but it is true. However every man doesn’t deserve a woman at his feet. As a matter of fact some men don’t deserve a woman at all. Some are abusive, inattentive, winy, and immature.

It takes a king to have a queen that wants to sit at his feet because she respects him. This king is confident, wise, protective, and compassionate. His influence is far reaching ans she notices the impact he has on others in his kingdom. His kingdom spreads to wherever he goes because he is a servant to all he meets. He encourages  people everywhere he goes.

He heaps value and worth on his queen, he restores her from past harm by his validation of her. He protects her and attacks anyone who tries to hurt her. Giving her vindication and value. He adorns her with jewels and fine clothing, and proudly walks beside her for all to see.

Yes, a woman wants to sit at a mans feet. However, you must be the right man. You must be a king.  You must also be the right woman.  A lot of women have been damaged by men and would scoff at this idea. In their place I ask you for forgiveness.  It should have never been so. You should have been loved and cherished. Others have been confused by modern idealism. But if they were honest with themselves they would want a king too.

I am not talking about a man being over a woman.  If that’s what your hearing then you are not being honest with yourself either.

Think about it.