Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category


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Why does God want to be glorified?

He delights in our giving Him glory because it is evidence of our excitement and understanding of Him, His plan and His purpose for all creation.

When we are excited and truly worship, it is because we are personally close to Him and something has been revealed to us about Him, we are agreeing with Him, and He loves to see us excited. That glory He receives is like a father being proud of his child as he lets go of the bicycle seat, and the child moves forward, because God has taught him, and he trusted, understood and conquered.

Copyright@2014 Doug Burrell


cindy radioActually we were both on the radio yesterday.  Well sort of.  We recorded two hours of discussion on marriage and divorce.  Cindy and I are both christian and on our second marriage.  In a lot of church circles this is not just a taboo subject to speak of but also a taboo thing to do.

Getting married a second time is just something that is not talked about in the church. Well during this radio show we discuss our personal stories of marriage and divorce.  We also touch on the subject of abuse in the church, which is our main focus in our ministry.

We sure had a lot of fun! Two hours was over in a flash.

I will post links as they are made available. In the meantime if you want to hear other recordings of Cindy discussing abuse, visit our website at  Hurtbylove.com


Interesting read – Prophetshrek

Yesterday, I talked about a recent brouhaha over some comments by Douglas Wilson and Jared Wilson (no relation) over at The Gospel Coalition about gender and marriage. Jared quoted a book by Dougla…

See on paulburkhart.wordpress.com


At my church like many other churches they have a Men’s Ministry group, although I feel the name should be changed to “Men that Minister.” Anyway, I am always baffled when I am around men and they comment about how they seem to have a hard time connecting with their wives. Or when they share their displeasure of their marriage to me. This happened a long time ago in case someone is lurking and being nosy.

Now, first of all I must let it be known that I certainly do not occupy the corner of the market on wisdom in marriage, nor am I an expert on anything but knowing one thing for sure and that is that Christ came for restoration, and that we should seek restoration in all relationships if possible. I say “if possible” because it takes two too tango. Free will is involved. But when two persons will is to be restored and they seek the great Restorer then all things are possible.

Speaking to men – You can’t tell me that you don’t know how to relate to your wife, or that you don’t have time for her or the kids because you are always working. Listen guys, I know that you had plenty of time for her when you pursued her before you were married. I know that on some nights you got maybe three hours of sleep before work the next morning, because you wanted to stay near her all night. Just to be close to her was your every desire. Nothing else mattered to you. Remember those days?

I know I do.

This is all she wants. This is what she deserves. She deserves to be seen. She wants to be seen. Why do you think so many girls that grow up in dysfunctional homes dress provocatively? They have a desire to be seen. They were never seen by their fathers as a princess and so their quest to be seen begins. Please don’t let this happen to your little girls, make sure they know their the princess in you life.

Make sure you wife knows she is the queen in your life! Listen here guys. Lets be frank. Every man wants a woman at his feet. But you have to have a commanding presence for her to want to sit at your feet. Commanding not demanding! A big difference! Also (here come the stones) I believe every woman wants to feel safe enough and loved enough to sit at her kings feet. But first you have to be a king, act like a king, and make sure she knows that she is not only seen by you but adored by you.

In short – If you die for her, she’ll live for you!

True Headship and Submission is an allusive mystery to many, but when you understand this principle it is the most beautiful thing in life.

Sound familiar? It should, because it is a biblical principal. Jesus Himself died for us, His bride that we might live for Him!

The Creators Clay


Mr. Religious-Abuser ,

My name is Doug Burrell, co-founder of a ministry that helps women who are married to super religious, super anointed, scripture spouting, pharisaical vipers who are full of dead men’s bones!

If your reading this letter it most likely applies to you. Who in the hell do you think you are treating a precious gift from God the way you do?  I know how you play the game. How you are always faithful in church and how you put on a great smile with everyone you meet. How you are falsely charming to everyone BUT you wife! I know you have the pastor and many others fooled into thinking your the next best thing since sliced bread. Well guess what? I know it’s all a lie! That’s right! Your just a scared little man afraid that everyone will find out who you really are, that’s the reason for the show. Your entire life is an act and you know it! News Flash – The world doesn’t revolve around you, and NO your not special at all!

You tell your wife that she cant live without you, when it’s you who can’t bear the thought of rejection! I know that if and when you wife confronts you or catches you in the act of cowardice or betrayal you promise to never do it again. But it’s only temporary compliance to stave the Out-of-Control feeling that you are experiencing.

At some point if you haven’t already, your going to forbid (I’m laughing) your wife from even seeing her family or some of her friends because you think they are not a good influence (still laughing). You will bar your wife and kids from having any visits with these threatening people, because they are a threat to your plans of total dominance.Yep, just what Jesus had in mind! Shoot, I’m really blowing it!

Furthermore, I know that if your wife asks you to leave that you will become desperate and will call in the troops at church to rally to your side. You will paint the picture of a poor little misunderstood man whose wife is not being godly and forgiving. Or you will convince the troops that she is going through that time of life. This is where the scripture quoting is thrown all over the place! You will even have the audacity to say “I’m the leader of this house.”  What a farce! Some leader you are, abandoning your wife emotionally, physically and spiritually. Not being sacrificial as Jesus says to be. NO your not, you think you are but your not! The fact that your thinking about yourself proves it!

Over the years your wife has forgiven you countless times and yet when she is at her wits end, you and the troops tells her she has to be forgiving! What a slap in the face, are you kidding me? You should just go crawl under a rock and hide somewhere at this point, you big sissy! It is only a fool that returns to his own vomit, and you want her to forgive you? Oh but wait there’s more! I forgot the almighty 70 times 7 verse! Oh what was I thinking? I was thinking she should have left you a long time ago Loser!

I also know that your religion and faith are a farce, because as soon as she leaves you your going to start getting drunk, maybe even smoke pot. You know why? Because it didn’t work. Your religion was phony from the start. If it were real you would not have been treating your wife with such cruelty.

You want your marriage to work? Lead with love not iron. Learn what love really is, love her and cherish her, she deserves it after putting up with your sorry butt. Above all else stop making everything about you, this is what got you into this mess in the first place. Oh, and lastly give your life to Jesus seriously this time. Either do this or lose it all.

Doug Burrell


I am concerned about our young men today. They seem to be growing up a lot slower than when I was young. A 25-year-old of today is practically the equivalent of an 18-year-old, when I was young. When I was 18 the expected norm was for a young man to move out on his own and get his own place. But today you have a lot of 25-year-old’s still living at home with mom. At best, they have a part-time job and spend the rest of the day on Xbox. Sure somebody could say, well the economy is bad. There is no full-time work out there. What’s wrong with getting a second part time job?

But my bigger frustration is the fact that the church does nothing about it. Now if the church was supposed be a place where people were supposed to grow and mature, how come they are not addressing this? I think the church is afraid of pushing too hard. Maybe they feel it’s better to be somewhat politically correct and be gentle on these young men as to not drive them away. Maybe the church feels it’s better to cater to these young men and provide all sorts of fun programs to keep them entertained instead of pushing them out of their comfort zone and teach responsibility and commitment. After all the more people you have attending churches is the benchmark of success isn’t it? So we as the church have joined the world in making things easier for young men. We can make all sorts of excuses as to why this is happening in our culture today. However, this is destroying young men, and it’s destroying relationships between husbands and wives, and is destroying our country.

Men need to experience adversity, especially young men. A man’s character is forged in the heat of adversity and confrontation. So in saying all this I would like to ask my readers to respond to a few questions or circumstances. How should a man handle the following situations. These are scenarios of difficulties that arise in a mans life. Some may seem funny, but the do cause discomfort.

  1. He gets a flat tire.
  2. He takes a girl on a date, and she lets him know in no uncertain terms, that he is to never open the car door for her.
  3. He sees two guys picking on and tormenting another man.
  4. His best friend is being a jerk to his wife. (the jerks wife)
  5. A young boy is being picked on by a bully at school.
  6. In a church youth group, you see everybody jumping up and down, boys and girls alike are acting very emotional, but it makes you feel uncomfortable.
  7. In church, you are being told to hold the hand of the man next to you. Seriously, this makes men feel uncomfortable, yet they still do it. Why?

Well, I’m sure I could think of more but I tried to think of things that are common and address different areas of a man’s life. Some are just related to difficult situations, others to male-female relationships. Others are related to fear of getting hurt and lastly, one is related to, or two actually are related to doing something different just than the mainstream.

So I’m curious as to how you think men should respond to these situations.


I want to share with all of you something, a God breathed passion I have had for a long time now. I know I may seem rough around the edges. But if you really knew me you would know how much I love people. Let me start by saying I was saved in 1993 and experienced a very powerful conversion.

God gave me dreams and visions almost daily, along with the gift of prophecy. I understood every word in the bible and on a very deep level. And I read the KJV!

I became so focused on the word that I worshiped it and it’s amazing power. I was amazed one day when God told me to stop reading. You see I read for 10-12 hours a day for over a year and a half. This was before I ever stepped foot in a church. After some time I slowed down to maybe just a couple hours. Just enough time to read 10 or 20 chapters. This is when God told me to stop reading.

Why did He tell me that? Well knowing His word isn’t enough! He wanted me to know people. My soul yearned to know people and help people. Many times it was just a hug or a short conversation. You see the whole bible is about restoration, its that simple. God sent His son to restore us to Him, and we complicate matters with theology and 10 step lessons to become closer to God. If you want to get closer to Him then embrace and love others. Start with your family, take time to listen just a Christ said “forbid not the children from coming to Him.” Allow everyone a voice and respect their opinions. It’s not important to be right. It’s important to love and support others.

I see people so busy that they don’t have time for each other. What good does being busy do? Activity does not equal achievement, but achievement is attained through peace and contentment that comes from doing His will. And His will is restoration! It’s that simple. Please don’t fall for the chatter you hear in church about doing something big for God. He has already done the big part. We need to just love each other by taking the time to hug, listen, and point. One person at a time…